I had my IUI this afternoon to the tune of $350. What should have been a 3 minute procedure ended up taking 30. But after 30 minutes on the table, more than a few tears, 5 different sizes of specula (including a pediatric speculum which I didn't know even existed), 3 nurses and ultrasound guidance, the insemination is complete. Wow, what a trip. I sure hope this works because if not, next time I'm going to ask for some drugs to help "relax" me. The amount of pain inflicted because no one can ever find my cervix is ridiculous. Sorry if this is too much information for some of you but I literally feel like I just got raped with a double edged sword, not just a knife, a sword. They said I can expect some bleeding after the multiple invasive attempts to navigate the route to my uterus, to which my response was "no kidding."
I start another round of meds on Tuesday (Endometrin twice a day), go back in 8 days for a blood test to check my progesterone levels, and then get to take a home pregnancy test in 14 days if I haven't started my period before then.
That's all for now. I need to go curl up in the fetal position and get through these crazy cramps.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Day 14 - Ultrasound, blood work and trigger!
I was up before the sun this morning (not my favorite way to start a Saturday morning - or any morning for that matter) and off to the Dr for another ultrasound and blood work. I was really curious to see what the tests would show since I doubled up on the Bravelle injections.
Today's total was $279.50 for the ultrasound and 2 blood tests. The ultrasound showed only 1 good follicle on my right ovary, which measured 19 mm! The minimum size to trigger is 18 so I was ready! After the ultrasound I went and had more blood drawn and was told they would call with instructions as soon as the blood results were back, sometime this afternoon. They said I would either trigger tonight or tomorrow for insemination on Monday or Tuesday.
I came home and reported all of this to Andrew. We were definitely anxious to get that phone call but had a busy day today. We had a birthday party for one of Greg's friends from 11 - 1 and then I had to be at church at 2:00 and would be working until 8:00 this evening. We went to the birthday party first and I was checking my phone constantly. It was at the Brunswick Zone bowling alley (yes, there were a ton of toddlers bowling!) and it was super loud in there. I was so paranoid that I'd miss the phone call but when we left the bowling alley, still no call. I only got to hang out at home for about a half hour and started to get a headache. I wondered if it was the crazy loud toddlers and the bowling alley noise or something else. I told Andrew that I didn't feel very good and that I suspected that I was ovulating.
It was 1:45 and time to leave for church. The Dr's office still hadn't called so I handed my phone to Andrew and told him I was leaving it with him since my phone doesn't work at church. I walked to the pantry to grab a granola bar that I could eat quickly between services for dinner and as I threw it in my purse and turned to leave, the phone rang. It was CCRM.
The nurse quickly explained that my blood work showed an LH surge - I am ovulating! My instinct was right and blood test confirmed it! She said "You need to trigger right now and come in tomorrow for your IUI." She explained that the Dr might recommend back to back IUI procedures both tomorrow and Monday but said they'd decide that for sure tomorrow. So we set the appointment for 2:45 tomorrow and hung up the phone. I rushed into the kitchen, quickly explaining everything to Andrew as he prepared my trigger shot. He gave me the trigger shot, I gave him a kiss and I ran out the door to church.
It was a crazy day today and tomorrow will be a big day too! The time has come for the insemination and I feel like we've done everything we could on our end. I've been eating healthier, exercising, lost 11 pounds, I've taken all the medicines and followed all the doctor's orders to a T. Now, it's in God's hands. Please keep us in your prayers. After the insemination, the hard part begins: waiting for the pregnancy test. The waiting is the hardest part and we will be spending those couple weeks praying and hoping for a positive pregnancy test. It's so nerve wracking to think about all the money we've spent and all the emotion we have invested but ultimately, we just HAVE to remember that in the end, what will be, will be and we will be ok with whatever it is that God has planned for our family. Afterall, we pray for His will to be done, not ours. Please keep us in your prayers as we embark on the next leg of this journey.
Today's total was $279.50 for the ultrasound and 2 blood tests. The ultrasound showed only 1 good follicle on my right ovary, which measured 19 mm! The minimum size to trigger is 18 so I was ready! After the ultrasound I went and had more blood drawn and was told they would call with instructions as soon as the blood results were back, sometime this afternoon. They said I would either trigger tonight or tomorrow for insemination on Monday or Tuesday.
I came home and reported all of this to Andrew. We were definitely anxious to get that phone call but had a busy day today. We had a birthday party for one of Greg's friends from 11 - 1 and then I had to be at church at 2:00 and would be working until 8:00 this evening. We went to the birthday party first and I was checking my phone constantly. It was at the Brunswick Zone bowling alley (yes, there were a ton of toddlers bowling!) and it was super loud in there. I was so paranoid that I'd miss the phone call but when we left the bowling alley, still no call. I only got to hang out at home for about a half hour and started to get a headache. I wondered if it was the crazy loud toddlers and the bowling alley noise or something else. I told Andrew that I didn't feel very good and that I suspected that I was ovulating.
It was 1:45 and time to leave for church. The Dr's office still hadn't called so I handed my phone to Andrew and told him I was leaving it with him since my phone doesn't work at church. I walked to the pantry to grab a granola bar that I could eat quickly between services for dinner and as I threw it in my purse and turned to leave, the phone rang. It was CCRM.
The nurse quickly explained that my blood work showed an LH surge - I am ovulating! My instinct was right and blood test confirmed it! She said "You need to trigger right now and come in tomorrow for your IUI." She explained that the Dr might recommend back to back IUI procedures both tomorrow and Monday but said they'd decide that for sure tomorrow. So we set the appointment for 2:45 tomorrow and hung up the phone. I rushed into the kitchen, quickly explaining everything to Andrew as he prepared my trigger shot. He gave me the trigger shot, I gave him a kiss and I ran out the door to church.
It was a crazy day today and tomorrow will be a big day too! The time has come for the insemination and I feel like we've done everything we could on our end. I've been eating healthier, exercising, lost 11 pounds, I've taken all the medicines and followed all the doctor's orders to a T. Now, it's in God's hands. Please keep us in your prayers. After the insemination, the hard part begins: waiting for the pregnancy test. The waiting is the hardest part and we will be spending those couple weeks praying and hoping for a positive pregnancy test. It's so nerve wracking to think about all the money we've spent and all the emotion we have invested but ultimately, we just HAVE to remember that in the end, what will be, will be and we will be ok with whatever it is that God has planned for our family. Afterall, we pray for His will to be done, not ours. Please keep us in your prayers as we embark on the next leg of this journey.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day 13
Last night I took my first double dose of Bravelle. I didn't feel any different last night but woke up this morning feeling a little funky. I have very mild cramps, feel slightly nauseous and am craving Texas Roadhouse really bad all at the same time. Weird, I know! Hopefully this means that the drugs are finally kicking things into high gear and are getting the job done! I'm optimistic =)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day 10 cycle update
At 5:02 this evening, the nurse from CCRM called with my blood results. She said my estrogen was low and that they want me to double the dose of my daily injections from 75 IU to 150 IU. She then scheduled me to come in for another ultrasound and more blood work at 7:30 on Saturday morning.
Double the dose means double the price. So instead of these injections costing $51 per day, starting today they will be $102 a day.
I hung up the phone and my heart was pounding. I feel like the financial aspect of this stuff is rapidly getting out of control. But I didn't have too much time to freak out. Immediately, I got on the phone with the pharmacy and had to order 6 more vials of Bravelle to be overnighted tonight and delivered to me tomorrow. I only have 2 vials left and I will have to take them both tonight (in about 15 minutes). I was relieved to get through to the pharmacy since it was so late in the day and once we got everything straightened out, she gave me the total for the 6 vials of Bravelle I had just ordered. For 3 days of medication, just to get me through the weekend, it cost us $351.39. That brings today's total to $596.39. Five hundred ninety six dollars and thirty nine cents. Oh...my....goodness....this is crazy. Suffice it to say that I am officially stressed about the money now. I can't even fathom spending $102 a day on 1 medication, not to mention the ultrasounds and blood tests every other day. That also doesn't take into account that it's very likely that I will have to go on estrogen and progesterone in the next week or so and if my memory serves me, last year the progesterone was very expensive.
Wow. After 9 days in this process, we have spent a total of $1924.39. The amount of money that we've put into expanding our family over the last 4 years is staggeringly enormous. This time around is just raising that ceiling higher and higher. I just pray and hope with everything in me that it works this time, and that all of this money will not be wasted.
Double the dose means double the price. So instead of these injections costing $51 per day, starting today they will be $102 a day.
I hung up the phone and my heart was pounding. I feel like the financial aspect of this stuff is rapidly getting out of control. But I didn't have too much time to freak out. Immediately, I got on the phone with the pharmacy and had to order 6 more vials of Bravelle to be overnighted tonight and delivered to me tomorrow. I only have 2 vials left and I will have to take them both tonight (in about 15 minutes). I was relieved to get through to the pharmacy since it was so late in the day and once we got everything straightened out, she gave me the total for the 6 vials of Bravelle I had just ordered. For 3 days of medication, just to get me through the weekend, it cost us $351.39. That brings today's total to $596.39. Five hundred ninety six dollars and thirty nine cents. Oh...my....goodness....this is crazy. Suffice it to say that I am officially stressed about the money now. I can't even fathom spending $102 a day on 1 medication, not to mention the ultrasounds and blood tests every other day. That also doesn't take into account that it's very likely that I will have to go on estrogen and progesterone in the next week or so and if my memory serves me, last year the progesterone was very expensive.
Wow. After 9 days in this process, we have spent a total of $1924.39. The amount of money that we've put into expanding our family over the last 4 years is staggeringly enormous. This time around is just raising that ceiling higher and higher. I just pray and hope with everything in me that it works this time, and that all of this money will not be wasted.
Mission Potty Training: Accomplished!
Wow, this has been a 3 post day! I guess there is just lots of exciting stuff going on around here, LOL. On day 3 of potty training, I'm happy to report that we have 100% success! Greg pooped on the potty today like a big boy and has not had any accidents! We had to step up our game by offering actual candy bars (the fun size, not full size) when M&Ms just wouldn't cut it. He needed BIG treats for poop on the potty and after having a bag of Milky Ways sit on the counter for a full day, he finally got to eat some today for his big accomplishment! I'm so proud of my boy! Now we can re-join the outside world and get back to our normal schedule. Being at home with no outside play or activity for 3 full days has almost driven me crazy! Time for some play dates, music class, birthday parties and fun with friends again! Way to go Greg! Pre-school this fall - here we come!
A Nice Surprise
Andrew texted me this morning and said he forgot some of his soccer equipment and that he'd be coming home for lunch. I replied "Yay! Looking forward to it!" Then, at 12:00 on the dot, he walked through the door with flowers and lunch from one of my favorite spots, Jimmy Johns!
I was so surprised! We got to sit down and have lunch together as a family and as I was putting my pretty flowers in a vase, I asked "What soccer stuff did you forget?" to which Andrew replied with a smile "Nothing."
What a great guy I have! It was such a nice surprise during this long week of Dr appointments and potty training Greg. Just had to blog - it made my day! I love you Andrew!
I was so surprised! We got to sit down and have lunch together as a family and as I was putting my pretty flowers in a vase, I asked "What soccer stuff did you forget?" to which Andrew replied with a smile "Nothing."
What a great guy I have! It was such a nice surprise during this long week of Dr appointments and potty training Greg. Just had to blog - it made my day! I love you Andrew!
Day 12 follicle check and blood work
I had my usual ultrasound and blood work done this morning and it's left me feeling a little frustrated. Things seem to be moving much slower than they did last year when we were doing our IUI cycles. My left ovary didn't have any significant growth in the follicles. My right ovary did show growth in the follicles, but not much. The follicles on my right ovary were 11 & 14 mm which means I'll probably be back at CCRM on Saturday morning for another check. Grr...all these ultrasounds are getting really expensive! The total for today's appointment: $245.
The minimum follicle size for them to give me the ok to trigger ovulation is 18 mm, but the nurse I saw today (Helen) said that they might want to get me to 19mm since they are growing so slow. I wonder why this time is so different than last time. The different drugs perhaps? I guess with the stronger, more aggressive medication I assumed things would go more quickly and expected significant progress with each ultrasound. I guess that's just not how it works though. I almost feel like these injections aren't doing anything. I can't help but second guess everything. Are we doing it right? Are we wasting too much of the medication as we try and get the air bubbles out of the syringe every night before Andrew gives me the shot? Are they working like they're supposed to? I haven't had any weird side effects like I did last time on the Chlomed, and I sure don't see any "Wow!" producing results at all these appointments. But what do I know? I'm not the doctor. I just hope this slow and steady progress gets us to the desired end result. The Dr will be reviewing my blood results and ultrasound from this morning and then a nurse will call me this afternoon with further instructions for drug dosage and when to make my next appointment.
So nothing exciting for today's update. Still the same old story as of now. Hope to get some good news soon though. Hopefully I'll get to trigger and inseminate early next week. Until then, I'll just hurry up and wait.
The minimum follicle size for them to give me the ok to trigger ovulation is 18 mm, but the nurse I saw today (Helen) said that they might want to get me to 19mm since they are growing so slow. I wonder why this time is so different than last time. The different drugs perhaps? I guess with the stronger, more aggressive medication I assumed things would go more quickly and expected significant progress with each ultrasound. I guess that's just not how it works though. I almost feel like these injections aren't doing anything. I can't help but second guess everything. Are we doing it right? Are we wasting too much of the medication as we try and get the air bubbles out of the syringe every night before Andrew gives me the shot? Are they working like they're supposed to? I haven't had any weird side effects like I did last time on the Chlomed, and I sure don't see any "Wow!" producing results at all these appointments. But what do I know? I'm not the doctor. I just hope this slow and steady progress gets us to the desired end result. The Dr will be reviewing my blood results and ultrasound from this morning and then a nurse will call me this afternoon with further instructions for drug dosage and when to make my next appointment.
So nothing exciting for today's update. Still the same old story as of now. Hope to get some good news soon though. Hopefully I'll get to trigger and inseminate early next week. Until then, I'll just hurry up and wait.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Day 10 follicle check and blood work
I was at CCRM again at 7:30 this morning for another follicle check and more blood work (checking my estrogen levels). I still have 4 developing follicles, which they're keeping their eye on. Today's ultrasound showed 2 on my right ovary and 2 on my left. The ones on my right ovary were bigger, measuring at 9 & 11 mm, so that's still pretty small and it's not looking likely that I'll trigger on Thursday like I originally thought.
I got my Fed Ex delivery of 4 more vials of Bravelle today (to the tune of $240) and will keep up the injections until at least Thursday morning when I go in at 7:30 again for another follicle check ultrasound and blood test checking my estrogen levels.
With all these appointments, it's really made my head do weird things. It feels like things are happening so fast, but so slow at the same time. I guess I'm just anxious. The only thing that really feels like it's happening super fast is our bank account being drained. With the drugs, ultrasound and blood work, today's total comes to $450 (just for 1 day!) While it does stress me out to think of the financial side of this whole ordeal, I'm surprised that I'm not really thinking about it much and therefore, I'm not really that stressed about it. What will be, will be and there's really nothing we can do about it (unless we give up on having a 2nd child all together which isn't really on my radar). I do feel bad for Andrew though. He is thinking about it and is really stressing about how much this is costing. He is so amazing and works so hard for our family, I hate to see him stress over money. I know he puts pressure on himself as the provider but this is such a short season in life and in the grand scheme of things, this amount of money and the sacrifices we've made to have children will be so small and insignificant that I'm sure we'll look back and wonder why we made such a big deal of it all. And there is no amount of money that can compare to having Gregory in our lives. He brings us such joy and happiness and is such a gift from God! And if God decides to bless us with another child, then what's a few thousand dollars in the long run when we could have another beautiful baby?
I got my Fed Ex delivery of 4 more vials of Bravelle today (to the tune of $240) and will keep up the injections until at least Thursday morning when I go in at 7:30 again for another follicle check ultrasound and blood test checking my estrogen levels.
With all these appointments, it's really made my head do weird things. It feels like things are happening so fast, but so slow at the same time. I guess I'm just anxious. The only thing that really feels like it's happening super fast is our bank account being drained. With the drugs, ultrasound and blood work, today's total comes to $450 (just for 1 day!) While it does stress me out to think of the financial side of this whole ordeal, I'm surprised that I'm not really thinking about it much and therefore, I'm not really that stressed about it. What will be, will be and there's really nothing we can do about it (unless we give up on having a 2nd child all together which isn't really on my radar). I do feel bad for Andrew though. He is thinking about it and is really stressing about how much this is costing. He is so amazing and works so hard for our family, I hate to see him stress over money. I know he puts pressure on himself as the provider but this is such a short season in life and in the grand scheme of things, this amount of money and the sacrifices we've made to have children will be so small and insignificant that I'm sure we'll look back and wonder why we made such a big deal of it all. And there is no amount of money that can compare to having Gregory in our lives. He brings us such joy and happiness and is such a gift from God! And if God decides to bless us with another child, then what's a few thousand dollars in the long run when we could have another beautiful baby?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Day 8 follicle check and blood work
I was up bright and early this morning (ok, maybe not bright - those of you who know me well know that I am NOT a morning person! But I was up really early) for my day 8 follicle check and blood work. I was at the doctor's office by 7:15 am as I had to be at church to work from 8:00 - 1:00 pm.
As of today (which is still pretty early in the cycle) I had 4 good size follicles....3 on my left ovary and 1 on my right. Can you say quadruplets? Just kidding - it's way too early to start saying silly things like that! But they said everything looked good and to continue the Bravelle injections until Tuesday when they want me to come in for another round of bloodwork and another ultrasound. We had already planned on doing a day 12 follicle check which would be Thursday so that's 2 more ultrasounds this week....cha ching! Today was $210 and Tuesday and Thursday will be about the same. So that's $630 in tests for this week, plus they want me to order 4 more Bravelle injections at $50 a piece plus shipping so we're in for another $860 this week. Ugh. Sure hope this works the first month because we're blowing through all the money we saved up REAL quick. We were budgeting about $1000 A MONTH, not $1000 A WEEK! You know, they say money can't buy happiness but having plenty of it sure would make life less stressful! LOL.
On the positive side though, I'm feeling pretty good and so far, haven't had any weird side effects from the drugs. Other than some back pain which is manageable, I'm feeling normal!
I'll update again after my next appointment on Tuesday.
As of today (which is still pretty early in the cycle) I had 4 good size follicles....3 on my left ovary and 1 on my right. Can you say quadruplets? Just kidding - it's way too early to start saying silly things like that! But they said everything looked good and to continue the Bravelle injections until Tuesday when they want me to come in for another round of bloodwork and another ultrasound. We had already planned on doing a day 12 follicle check which would be Thursday so that's 2 more ultrasounds this week....cha ching! Today was $210 and Tuesday and Thursday will be about the same. So that's $630 in tests for this week, plus they want me to order 4 more Bravelle injections at $50 a piece plus shipping so we're in for another $860 this week. Ugh. Sure hope this works the first month because we're blowing through all the money we saved up REAL quick. We were budgeting about $1000 A MONTH, not $1000 A WEEK! You know, they say money can't buy happiness but having plenty of it sure would make life less stressful! LOL.
On the positive side though, I'm feeling pretty good and so far, haven't had any weird side effects from the drugs. Other than some back pain which is manageable, I'm feeling normal!
I'll update again after my next appointment on Tuesday.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Potty training update & re-cap of yesterday
Yesterday was such a productive day. We ended up leaving a note for the Fed Ex man and headed out to music class. Greg was very happy not to have missed his class and it was good to see our friends. We came straight home and waiting for the drug delivery, which hadn't come yet. It finally arrived at about 2:30 pm and Andrew gave me the first shot last night. It didn't really hurt, just stung a little as the meds were injected. So 1 shot down, at least 3 more to go until the Dr gives us further instruction. I don't really feel any different other than a little lower back pain (but no nausea or pregnancy symptoms which I've gotten in the past from some of the other drugs) and other than the small bruise on my tummy from the shot, I'm no worse for the wear!
In other news, the first words out of Greg's mouth when he woke up this morning were "I need to go pee pee on the potty again," and HE DID! I am so excited. After his first time yesterday evening, he went again before his bath and got to show Daddy =) Then when he said that this morning I was thrilled! He's in a pull-up today and we're going to see how things go! He seems pretty excited about it though and I think he's going to do great!
The only time we have to leave the house today is for an appointment with our accountant at 1:00 this afternoon so hopefully everything will go smoothly! I'm so proud of my big boy. I was worried about the potty training issue since he hadn't shown any interest but I should've known that once he made up his mind that he wanted to do it, there would be no looking back. He did that with the pacifier, breast feeding and his beloved soft spouted sippy cup. Each time he decided he was done with it, it was a "cold turkey" type of decision and each time he "quit" something, he never went back to it again. So I'm very optimistic that he will be like that with potty training. Now that he's decided that he's going to pee on the potty, I'm hoping that he will no longer want to do it in his diaper. He did have some in his diaper from over night last night, but as far as going while he's awake, he's only gone in the potty since doing it the first time. Very exciting stuff for this Mommy! I'm living in my little bubble of positivity and continuing to hope and pray for more good news in the coming days and weeks =)
In other news, the first words out of Greg's mouth when he woke up this morning were "I need to go pee pee on the potty again," and HE DID! I am so excited. After his first time yesterday evening, he went again before his bath and got to show Daddy =) Then when he said that this morning I was thrilled! He's in a pull-up today and we're going to see how things go! He seems pretty excited about it though and I think he's going to do great!
The only time we have to leave the house today is for an appointment with our accountant at 1:00 this afternoon so hopefully everything will go smoothly! I'm so proud of my big boy. I was worried about the potty training issue since he hadn't shown any interest but I should've known that once he made up his mind that he wanted to do it, there would be no looking back. He did that with the pacifier, breast feeding and his beloved soft spouted sippy cup. Each time he decided he was done with it, it was a "cold turkey" type of decision and each time he "quit" something, he never went back to it again. So I'm very optimistic that he will be like that with potty training. Now that he's decided that he's going to pee on the potty, I'm hoping that he will no longer want to do it in his diaper. He did have some in his diaper from over night last night, but as far as going while he's awake, he's only gone in the potty since doing it the first time. Very exciting stuff for this Mommy! I'm living in my little bubble of positivity and continuing to hope and pray for more good news in the coming days and weeks =)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Pee Pee on the Potty!
I am SO EXCITED! Greg just went pee pee on the potty for THE FIRST TIME EVER!!! He has been so resistant and adamant about continuing to wear a diaper but tonight, he did it! He got up from the couch and went over to stand in the corner - his tell tale sign of going poop. So I asked him, "do you have to go potty?" and he said "yes." So I asked him if he wanted to try and go on the potty like a big boy and he agreed! I jumped up and took him straight to the potty but he had already pooped in his diaper so I suggested that maybe he should try and go pee. I took off his diaper, showed him his poop and explained that it needs to go in the potty. We dumped in into the potty and flushed it down. Then, he climbed up on the step stool and stood there, petrified. I reassured him that it was ok and encouraged him to try and after about a minute or two, he squeezed out one little drop and got scared. It was so cute! Then I praised him and made a huge deal about the 1 little drop and asked if he could go more. After another minute, he fully released and went pee pee in the potty!!! I am so excited and so proud! He said "I''m went pee pee in the potty like Nathaniel (one of his best friends who is already potty trained), like a big boy!" I am so encouraged that we've taken the first step and he knows he can do it now! YAY!! What a great night!
Day 5 Cyst Check
I went in at 7:45 this morning for my cyst check ultrasound and got a good report! Not only do I not have any cysts on my ovaries but I had lots of resting follicles (10 - 12 on each ovary) and my estrogen levels looked ok. Yippee! That means as of now, I won't have to go on estrogen which is 1 less drug I'll have to put in my system and 1 less drug to pay for! That could all change by next next appointment on Sunday morning but as of now, everything looks good. Hooray for good reports and small victories.
I'm supposed to get my Brevelle injections today and am torn as to whether or not to take Greg to his music class this morning. It's the last class of this session so I won't be able to make it up, but I'd hate to take a chance in missing the drug delivery. I'd only be gone for about an hour and 10 min and the delivery could come at any time today....hmmm, what to do?
I'm supposed to get my Brevelle injections today and am torn as to whether or not to take Greg to his music class this morning. It's the last class of this session so I won't be able to make it up, but I'd hate to take a chance in missing the drug delivery. I'd only be gone for about an hour and 10 min and the delivery could come at any time today....hmmm, what to do?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Baby # 2 - attempt # 4
This morning we had our first appointment of this next round of fertility fun and wow, let me just saw the roller coaster ride has begun! I woke up this morning with a terrible headache and literally felt sick to my stomach. I was nauseous all morning and thought I was going to throw up. I guess it must have been nerves that I wasn't aware I even had, but man, it was crazy! I felt terrible. I picked Andrew up from work, dropped Greg off at his friend's house for a play date and we headed to CCRM (Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine).
We had two things on the agenda for this morning; an IUI consult with our new nurse Kathryn who is AMAZING, and a re-group with Dr. Surrey. Today was day 4 of my cycle and we've been through all of this before so we weren't expecting to hear anything we didn't know. I knew I wanted to try and inseminate this month, but wasn't expecting to hit the ground running quite as fast as we did!
Our IUI consult with Kathryn was pretty standard - all of the information was pretty much the same as we learned last year at this time when we were going through this process. The only difference was Kathryn. She is amazing, informative, friendly and warm; a stark contrast from the nurses I've dealt with in the past. I am so glad to get to work with her this time around! It will make me feel that much more comfortable knowing that I can call her for anything I need. The other nurses (Rachel and Helen) I felt were cold, uncaring, unorganized and had zero personality. I was very disappointed with them but and super excited about my new nurse and have a very good feeling about working with Kathryn this time around!
After our IUI consult, we headed across the hall for our re-group with Dr. Surrey. Again, we felt like this was going to be a waste of time and money since we've been through all this before and already have a game plan in our heads. We have already decided that this was the last go around. If these last 3 attempts don't work, we're going to accept things and get on with our lives. We were pleasantly surprised though, as the meeting proved to be very informative and encouraging. Dr. Surrey suggested taking a much more aggressive approach this time, prescribing Brevelle (an IVF med) instead of just giving me Chlomed again. We are very hopeful that taking Brevelle will really increase our chances of success. The only downfall is the price. Chlomed is now available in generic form and we would be able to get those pills for around $20 -$30 per cycle (per month). Brevelle is an injection that will cost us $51 per shot! With a minimum of 4 -5 shots per cycle, depending on how things look on my ultrasounds, this is going to get VERY expensive. Each ultrasound costs $170 so this bill is going to escalate from the hundreds of dollars to the thousands of dollars range pretty quickly. Two days into this next round of fertility fun, we've spent $573 just on blood tests and shipping costs. I ordered my trigger shot from the pharmacy today which was another $95 (for 1 shot) and have ordered the Brevelle from a different pharmacy, which is being shipped overnight so I can begin taking that tomorrow. For 4 doses of Brevelle, that will add another $230 to our tab for this week, bringing the grand total to $898 (in 2 days). Add another $170 tomorrow for the ultrasound and we're at $1068. See how quickly things add up? That's a lot of cash to spend in only a few days and man is it stressful. Hopefully, this time around we'll get pregnant on the first try and not have to repeat this for 3 consecutive months...
Ugh - why does everything have to revolve around money? Any crazy drug addict or alcoholic can get pregnant at the drop of the hat and bring a child into this world under horrible conditions and in a terrible home environment. We, on the other hand, would love to add to our family and would provide a loving, wonderful home to a child. Yet, after spending tens of thousands of dollars, we're still a family of three and I just can't help but slip into the "Life is so unfair" frame of mind occasionally. Don't get me wrong, we are completely and totally fulfilled with just having Greg as a son. He brings more joy to our lives than we could have ever imagined. Greg is truly a perfect child. He is loving and sensitive, healthy and beautiful. He has such a gentle spirit and is the most amazing little boy! But he would LOVE to have a sibling and would LOVE to be a big brother. I have such a hard time fighting the urge to complain sometimes about how unfair things seem. But I have to rely on the Lord and trust in Him that His plan for our family is good and perfect, no matter the outcome. We are prepared, yet again, to spend every dollar we have saved and pour every ounce of our time, energy and emotions into this process, hoping and praying for the best. Only time will tell what God's plan for us is, but in the mean time as we buckle our seat belts on this fertility roller coaster, we're going to get crazy busy with Dr appointments and just try to remain focused on God through everything, staying vigilant in prayer and remaining faithful to the One who sees the bigger picture and has a perfect plan for our lives. We are so unbelievably blessed and we've already received one miracle: we have Greg!
Next step: ultrasound tomorrow morning at 7:45 am to check my ovaries and make sure there are no pesky cysts or any other issues that could cause problems. Then tomorrow night, I'll begin the Breville injections and Sunday morning at 7:15 am I'll be back at the Dr for another ultrasound to check my follicles and more blood work to see when we might trigger. Sticking with the roller coaster analogy, today was the slow start, inching our way up the steep grade, anticipating the moment when we reach the top and look down. Moments later, the roller coaster teeters over the top of the hill and with the weight of the other cars pushing it from behind, it rolls forward and drops, gaining speed as it races down the hill, accelerating toward the next twist and turn. Tomorrow morning will be our drop. Then, the race with the clock begins as we count down toward ovulation and pray there are no road blocks along the way. Please pray for us throughout this process. Anyone who has experienced infertility issues will tell you: this is a tough ride. It's hard on your bank account, your emotions and your body. But I'm up for the challenge and I look forward to the future with hope and optimism.
We had two things on the agenda for this morning; an IUI consult with our new nurse Kathryn who is AMAZING, and a re-group with Dr. Surrey. Today was day 4 of my cycle and we've been through all of this before so we weren't expecting to hear anything we didn't know. I knew I wanted to try and inseminate this month, but wasn't expecting to hit the ground running quite as fast as we did!
Our IUI consult with Kathryn was pretty standard - all of the information was pretty much the same as we learned last year at this time when we were going through this process. The only difference was Kathryn. She is amazing, informative, friendly and warm; a stark contrast from the nurses I've dealt with in the past. I am so glad to get to work with her this time around! It will make me feel that much more comfortable knowing that I can call her for anything I need. The other nurses (Rachel and Helen) I felt were cold, uncaring, unorganized and had zero personality. I was very disappointed with them but and super excited about my new nurse and have a very good feeling about working with Kathryn this time around!
After our IUI consult, we headed across the hall for our re-group with Dr. Surrey. Again, we felt like this was going to be a waste of time and money since we've been through all this before and already have a game plan in our heads. We have already decided that this was the last go around. If these last 3 attempts don't work, we're going to accept things and get on with our lives. We were pleasantly surprised though, as the meeting proved to be very informative and encouraging. Dr. Surrey suggested taking a much more aggressive approach this time, prescribing Brevelle (an IVF med) instead of just giving me Chlomed again. We are very hopeful that taking Brevelle will really increase our chances of success. The only downfall is the price. Chlomed is now available in generic form and we would be able to get those pills for around $20 -$30 per cycle (per month). Brevelle is an injection that will cost us $51 per shot! With a minimum of 4 -5 shots per cycle, depending on how things look on my ultrasounds, this is going to get VERY expensive. Each ultrasound costs $170 so this bill is going to escalate from the hundreds of dollars to the thousands of dollars range pretty quickly. Two days into this next round of fertility fun, we've spent $573 just on blood tests and shipping costs. I ordered my trigger shot from the pharmacy today which was another $95 (for 1 shot) and have ordered the Brevelle from a different pharmacy, which is being shipped overnight so I can begin taking that tomorrow. For 4 doses of Brevelle, that will add another $230 to our tab for this week, bringing the grand total to $898 (in 2 days). Add another $170 tomorrow for the ultrasound and we're at $1068. See how quickly things add up? That's a lot of cash to spend in only a few days and man is it stressful. Hopefully, this time around we'll get pregnant on the first try and not have to repeat this for 3 consecutive months...
Ugh - why does everything have to revolve around money? Any crazy drug addict or alcoholic can get pregnant at the drop of the hat and bring a child into this world under horrible conditions and in a terrible home environment. We, on the other hand, would love to add to our family and would provide a loving, wonderful home to a child. Yet, after spending tens of thousands of dollars, we're still a family of three and I just can't help but slip into the "Life is so unfair" frame of mind occasionally. Don't get me wrong, we are completely and totally fulfilled with just having Greg as a son. He brings more joy to our lives than we could have ever imagined. Greg is truly a perfect child. He is loving and sensitive, healthy and beautiful. He has such a gentle spirit and is the most amazing little boy! But he would LOVE to have a sibling and would LOVE to be a big brother. I have such a hard time fighting the urge to complain sometimes about how unfair things seem. But I have to rely on the Lord and trust in Him that His plan for our family is good and perfect, no matter the outcome. We are prepared, yet again, to spend every dollar we have saved and pour every ounce of our time, energy and emotions into this process, hoping and praying for the best. Only time will tell what God's plan for us is, but in the mean time as we buckle our seat belts on this fertility roller coaster, we're going to get crazy busy with Dr appointments and just try to remain focused on God through everything, staying vigilant in prayer and remaining faithful to the One who sees the bigger picture and has a perfect plan for our lives. We are so unbelievably blessed and we've already received one miracle: we have Greg!
Next step: ultrasound tomorrow morning at 7:45 am to check my ovaries and make sure there are no pesky cysts or any other issues that could cause problems. Then tomorrow night, I'll begin the Breville injections and Sunday morning at 7:15 am I'll be back at the Dr for another ultrasound to check my follicles and more blood work to see when we might trigger. Sticking with the roller coaster analogy, today was the slow start, inching our way up the steep grade, anticipating the moment when we reach the top and look down. Moments later, the roller coaster teeters over the top of the hill and with the weight of the other cars pushing it from behind, it rolls forward and drops, gaining speed as it races down the hill, accelerating toward the next twist and turn. Tomorrow morning will be our drop. Then, the race with the clock begins as we count down toward ovulation and pray there are no road blocks along the way. Please pray for us throughout this process. Anyone who has experienced infertility issues will tell you: this is a tough ride. It's hard on your bank account, your emotions and your body. But I'm up for the challenge and I look forward to the future with hope and optimism.
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