Holding out hope and holding onto faith

It's been exactly 1 week since my IUI and today I went in for bloodwork to check my progesterone levels. Up until this point, I've really been feeling different. Tired, nauseous, food aversions, not being able to sleep through the night without waking up to pee - all familiar signs of pregnancy. I've been pretty confident that I am with child.

However, my blood work showed that my body is not producing nearly enough progesterone. Helen, the nurse, called at 5:00 this evening and said it was "kind of a big deal" and that she was calling in a prescription for me that I must start taking right away. Prometrium suppositories - 200mg. I took those every night before bed when I was doing the IVF with Greggy. Only this time, she wants me to take them twice a day.

My heart sank at this news. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything at this point, but now the last week until I can take a pregnancy test is going to feel extra long. I've been feeling all these different things and have been applying my power of positive thinking, believing that I am carrying our 2nd baby. Now all of that certainty and positivity is in limbo. I'm doubting my feelings and the signs I thought my body was giving me. I'm wondering if it was all in my head. Ugh - now I feel like I'm going crazy on top of everything else! I've talked to multiple women who have been through similar scenarios and they've all had this happen to them. I know I'm not crazy but geez, this emotional roller coaster is taking me for quite a ride!

So here I am 1 week away from peeing on that little stick and hoping for the best. In the mean time, all I can do is hold out hope and hold on to my faith. God will be hearing lots of prayers from me in the next week! And ultimately, He is good and perfect and so is His plan for our family. We just need to make sure our hearts are prepared for whatever His plan is for us and this baby.