It's been exactly 1 week since my IUI and today I went in for bloodwork to check my progesterone levels. Up until this point, I've really been feeling different. Tired, nauseous, food aversions, not being able to sleep through the night without waking up to pee - all familiar signs of pregnancy. I've been pretty confident that I am with child.
However, my blood work showed that my body is not producing nearly enough progesterone. Helen, the nurse, called at 5:00 this evening and said it was "kind of a big deal" and that she was calling in a prescription for me that I must start taking right away. Prometrium suppositories - 200mg. I took those every night before bed when I was doing the IVF with Greggy. Only this time, she wants me to take them twice a day.
My heart sank at this news. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything at this point, but now the last week until I can take a pregnancy test is going to feel extra long. I've been feeling all these different things and have been applying my power of positive thinking, believing that I am carrying our 2nd baby. Now all of that certainty and positivity is in limbo. I'm doubting my feelings and the signs I thought my body was giving me. I'm wondering if it was all in my head. Ugh - now I feel like I'm going crazy on top of everything else! I've talked to multiple women who have been through similar scenarios and they've all had this happen to them. I know I'm not crazy but geez, this emotional roller coaster is taking me for quite a ride!
So here I am 1 week away from peeing on that little stick and hoping for the best. In the mean time, all I can do is hold out hope and hold on to my faith. God will be hearing lots of prayers from me in the next week! And ultimately, He is good and perfect and so is His plan for our family. We just need to make sure our hearts are prepared for whatever His plan is for us and this baby.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
IUI
Wednesday morning, April 21, 2010 I had my first IUI. Andrew went with me this time and I was super nervous. I have had so many bumps in the road on this journey to a 2nd child that I just couldn't get myself to relax.
We checked in upstairs and were sent down to Andrology to get our donor sample. We got all the numbers, 51 million sperm in the sample, 47% motility and a 2-3+ post prep rate which meant they were really fast at forward motion...a good thing. So after signing the release papers and going over the numbers, we carried the tiny vial of donor sperm back upstairs to the waiting room in a little red canvas zipper bag. A few minutes later my name was called and we went back into the ultrasound room where I've been many times before. After getting undressed and assuming the position, Helen (Dr. Surrey's other nurse) came in. As she prepared everything, the room was uncomfortably quiet. I struggled to try and remain calm and get my nerves under control. I wasn't having much luck with that. When she was finally ready, I was just about at my breaking point.
She inserted the speculum and started the hunt for my ever elusive cervix. Not surprisingly, she couldn't find it. So she removed the speculum and tried with a bigger one. She continued looking and apologized for the discomfort. The physical discomfort combined with my frazzled nerves was not a good combination. I struggled to breathe deeply and tried to relax, failing miserably at both. Once she found the opening to my cervix she then inserted the catheter. After a few minutes Helen explained that she needed to get the catheter into my uterus at a specific angle to "get it in just the right spot." Apparently that also proved to be a little difficult for her. By this time tears were forming in my eyes and although they were tightly shut, they escaped and rolled down my face. Horrified and embarrassed that I was crying, I desperately tried to hide my breach of emotion. I managed to pull myself together by the time the procedure was complete and then gingerly got dressed. I had pretty strong cramps and was not feeling good at all. We headed out to the car with instructions to call for a blood test to check my progesterone levels in 7 - 10 days and then a pregnancy test in 2 weeks. The worst was over.
I made it to the car before I dissolved into tears. I can't really tell you why I was crying. Yes, there was some physical pain but it wasn't as bad as some of the other things I've endured lately. I think it was physical pain plus emotional turmoil and a huge dose of nerves. I really hope that I'm pregnant as a sit here and type this. There are so many factors that play into this feeling: financial, emotional, physical....I just don't want to have to do this again!
I know this is redundant and I've said this many times, but I just have to remain focused on the positive, the end result. This will all be worth it when our family of 3 becomes a family of 4 and we can welcome a new baby into the Cipolla family. I just need to hang in there until that point and focus on that.
We checked in upstairs and were sent down to Andrology to get our donor sample. We got all the numbers, 51 million sperm in the sample, 47% motility and a 2-3+ post prep rate which meant they were really fast at forward motion...a good thing. So after signing the release papers and going over the numbers, we carried the tiny vial of donor sperm back upstairs to the waiting room in a little red canvas zipper bag. A few minutes later my name was called and we went back into the ultrasound room where I've been many times before. After getting undressed and assuming the position, Helen (Dr. Surrey's other nurse) came in. As she prepared everything, the room was uncomfortably quiet. I struggled to try and remain calm and get my nerves under control. I wasn't having much luck with that. When she was finally ready, I was just about at my breaking point.
She inserted the speculum and started the hunt for my ever elusive cervix. Not surprisingly, she couldn't find it. So she removed the speculum and tried with a bigger one. She continued looking and apologized for the discomfort. The physical discomfort combined with my frazzled nerves was not a good combination. I struggled to breathe deeply and tried to relax, failing miserably at both. Once she found the opening to my cervix she then inserted the catheter. After a few minutes Helen explained that she needed to get the catheter into my uterus at a specific angle to "get it in just the right spot." Apparently that also proved to be a little difficult for her. By this time tears were forming in my eyes and although they were tightly shut, they escaped and rolled down my face. Horrified and embarrassed that I was crying, I desperately tried to hide my breach of emotion. I managed to pull myself together by the time the procedure was complete and then gingerly got dressed. I had pretty strong cramps and was not feeling good at all. We headed out to the car with instructions to call for a blood test to check my progesterone levels in 7 - 10 days and then a pregnancy test in 2 weeks. The worst was over.
I made it to the car before I dissolved into tears. I can't really tell you why I was crying. Yes, there was some physical pain but it wasn't as bad as some of the other things I've endured lately. I think it was physical pain plus emotional turmoil and a huge dose of nerves. I really hope that I'm pregnant as a sit here and type this. There are so many factors that play into this feeling: financial, emotional, physical....I just don't want to have to do this again!
I know this is redundant and I've said this many times, but I just have to remain focused on the positive, the end result. This will all be worth it when our family of 3 becomes a family of 4 and we can welcome a new baby into the Cipolla family. I just need to hang in there until that point and focus on that.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Baby #2; Attempt #2
So I went in on Saturday for an ultrasound. It was day 11 in my cycle and after last month's fiasco Rachel (my nurse) wanted to start monitoring me early so that we didn't have timing issues like last month. Well, not surprisingly, Rachel was supposed to be working Saturday morning but had called in sick. Big deal - I'd almost rather deal with someone else anyway. So, Saturday morning's report showed that the lining in my uterus was pretty thin, only measuring a 4, and my follicle was still pretty small at that point too, just 14 mm. Not much news from that appointment but I was sent home with a prescription for Estrace and an appointment for this morning (Monday morning) to come back for another ultrasound.
So Saturday at bed time, I took my first little blue Estrace pill (and it's not an a pill I get to take orally either...blech!) and tried to go to sleep. Man did that little pill do a number on me! I tossed and turned, was achy and felt nauseous. Not fun! Every morning now I wake up with morning sickness and I'm not even pregnant yet! It's crazy what hormones can do to your system! Sunday afternoon I was pushing Greg on a swing at the park and had to stop because it made me feel so nauseous! Good thing Daddy was there to take over =)
So this morning I went in again for an ultrasound and Rachel had again called in sick. Whatever. I didn't mind because I got a good report from the nurse I dealt with and she was very nice. My uterine lining was significantly improved, a 7 this time instead of a pitiful 4, and my follicle was measuring at 19mm. The nurse explained that normally, the follicles grow at 2 mm per day but mine was more accelerated and not normal (I know what you're thinking...me, not normal? Shocking!!! LOL) Normally they like to have the follicle at 20 mm before doing the trigger shot but the nurse said that if we waited another day, I'd probably be at 21 mm which would be too big. Soooo, tonight at 9:45 pm I get a big old shot in the stomach to trigger ovulation! Then 35 hours after the shot, on Wednesday morning, April 21st, 2010 I will go in at 8:45 am for my first IUI. Wow!!! After all the drama, surgeries, invasive procedures and prep work, I think the time has finally come! So we're crossing our fingers and praying that this time around goes off without a hitch and that we'll soon be expecting baby #2!!!
So Saturday at bed time, I took my first little blue Estrace pill (and it's not an a pill I get to take orally either...blech!) and tried to go to sleep. Man did that little pill do a number on me! I tossed and turned, was achy and felt nauseous. Not fun! Every morning now I wake up with morning sickness and I'm not even pregnant yet! It's crazy what hormones can do to your system! Sunday afternoon I was pushing Greg on a swing at the park and had to stop because it made me feel so nauseous! Good thing Daddy was there to take over =)
So this morning I went in again for an ultrasound and Rachel had again called in sick. Whatever. I didn't mind because I got a good report from the nurse I dealt with and she was very nice. My uterine lining was significantly improved, a 7 this time instead of a pitiful 4, and my follicle was measuring at 19mm. The nurse explained that normally, the follicles grow at 2 mm per day but mine was more accelerated and not normal (I know what you're thinking...me, not normal? Shocking!!! LOL) Normally they like to have the follicle at 20 mm before doing the trigger shot but the nurse said that if we waited another day, I'd probably be at 21 mm which would be too big. Soooo, tonight at 9:45 pm I get a big old shot in the stomach to trigger ovulation! Then 35 hours after the shot, on Wednesday morning, April 21st, 2010 I will go in at 8:45 am for my first IUI. Wow!!! After all the drama, surgeries, invasive procedures and prep work, I think the time has finally come! So we're crossing our fingers and praying that this time around goes off without a hitch and that we'll soon be expecting baby #2!!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Sleep Terrors
So today Greg had another "episode." The first time it happened was on Wed 3/31/10 and after being asleep for 2.5 - 3 hrs, I heard Greg just start screaming hysterically from his room. I raced into his room to find him kicking and thrashing around in bed while screaming at the top of his lungs. I quickly picked him up and tried to soothe him, which seemed to make it worse. I struggled to hold him, rock him, quietly say "Mommy's right here, you're OK," but nothing seemed to work. After about 8 minutes I gave up and put him on the floor in the middle of the room where he continued another 7 or 8 minutes. It reminded me of a seizure, even though I knew that wasn't what was happening. His body was rigid as he lashed out, his eyes were tightly closed and he just kept screaming. No real tears were coming from his eyes but it was so scary and heartbreaking that I was the one who ended up crying real tears.
Then, this afternoon it happened again. This time, he'd only been asleep for 45 min - 1 hr and I was on the phone with Andrew when the screaming started. I hung up the phone and raced into his room. After 10 minutes of violent thrashing and screaming, I called my neighbor to come over. Her daughter had sleep terrors when she was about 2 yrs old so I had her come over to tell me if she thought Greg was having the same thing. She and I sat in Greg's room while he carried on another 10 minutes (20 minutes in total). I even got out the video camera and recorded about 30 seconds of it to show the doctor if need be. Today's was even worse than Wednesday's. He scratched himself in the face, was frantically trying to climb on a shelf, and it lasted about 5 minutes longer than his first episode. Then, all of a sudden, he seemed to wake up. He blinked, looked up and saw the neighbor and gave her one of his huge, gorgeous smiles like nothing was wrong.
As soon as he was calm, I called the doctor right away. I left a message for them to call me back and then began doing some research online. Sure enough, Greg's episodes seemed to match the sleep terror symptoms with frightening accuracy. Sweating, thrashing about, screaming uncontrollably, hyperventilating, & accelerated heart rate. Not cool, not cool at all. The doctor's office even said that he could start hallucinating, pointing to things and seeing things that are not there. I really hope that doesn't happen.
When the doctor's office called back, they confirmed what I had already assumed - Greg is having sleep terrors. They said the #1 cause of sleep terrors is sleep deprivation. We had company last week/weekend and we were letting Greg stay up until 10 or 11 pm so that might have been the trigger. So we're going to be implementing a strict and earlier bed time. And no more watching sitcoms or adult TV programs while Greg is still awake. We never watch anything bad on TV, but obviously he's picking up something that scares him, whether it be the programming content or even things he may see in commercials. Either way, it's causing stress to my child so it stops today.
The doctor says that children have no memory of sleep terrors. They have total amnesia and don't realize that they've been screaming and carrying on while their parents freak out and worry. So in reality, he's fine and I'm the one that's suffering! It is seriously the worst feeling in the world to see your child scream and not know you're there, not know that you're trying to help. There is nothing I can do to comfort him. Just like a seizure, I have to let it run its course and just be there to make sure he doesn't hurt himself in the process.
I'm exhausted, mentally and emotionally. I think I'll be implementing an earlier bed time for me tonight too!
Then, this afternoon it happened again. This time, he'd only been asleep for 45 min - 1 hr and I was on the phone with Andrew when the screaming started. I hung up the phone and raced into his room. After 10 minutes of violent thrashing and screaming, I called my neighbor to come over. Her daughter had sleep terrors when she was about 2 yrs old so I had her come over to tell me if she thought Greg was having the same thing. She and I sat in Greg's room while he carried on another 10 minutes (20 minutes in total). I even got out the video camera and recorded about 30 seconds of it to show the doctor if need be. Today's was even worse than Wednesday's. He scratched himself in the face, was frantically trying to climb on a shelf, and it lasted about 5 minutes longer than his first episode. Then, all of a sudden, he seemed to wake up. He blinked, looked up and saw the neighbor and gave her one of his huge, gorgeous smiles like nothing was wrong.
As soon as he was calm, I called the doctor right away. I left a message for them to call me back and then began doing some research online. Sure enough, Greg's episodes seemed to match the sleep terror symptoms with frightening accuracy. Sweating, thrashing about, screaming uncontrollably, hyperventilating, & accelerated heart rate. Not cool, not cool at all. The doctor's office even said that he could start hallucinating, pointing to things and seeing things that are not there. I really hope that doesn't happen.
When the doctor's office called back, they confirmed what I had already assumed - Greg is having sleep terrors. They said the #1 cause of sleep terrors is sleep deprivation. We had company last week/weekend and we were letting Greg stay up until 10 or 11 pm so that might have been the trigger. So we're going to be implementing a strict and earlier bed time. And no more watching sitcoms or adult TV programs while Greg is still awake. We never watch anything bad on TV, but obviously he's picking up something that scares him, whether it be the programming content or even things he may see in commercials. Either way, it's causing stress to my child so it stops today.
The doctor says that children have no memory of sleep terrors. They have total amnesia and don't realize that they've been screaming and carrying on while their parents freak out and worry. So in reality, he's fine and I'm the one that's suffering! It is seriously the worst feeling in the world to see your child scream and not know you're there, not know that you're trying to help. There is nothing I can do to comfort him. Just like a seizure, I have to let it run its course and just be there to make sure he doesn't hurt himself in the process.
I'm exhausted, mentally and emotionally. I think I'll be implementing an earlier bed time for me tonight too!
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