The 3rd Day

Today was the 3rd day; the notoriously most uncomfortable day following a surgery. It's been a rough couple days.

On Friday morning, we were up at 5:30 am. I gingerly showered and tried as best I could to shave my legs with the cramping and discomfort from the seaweed piercing through my abdomen. My nerves were threatening to break through the surface as I got ready for my surgery. We headed to the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine building in the dark hours of the early morning and pulled up to the surgery parking garage. A nurse buzzed us in and we headed up to the surgery floor. Sitting in the waiting area for a nurse to come get us, my nerves got to my stomach and I had to use the restroom. Great, just what I needed, something else to be paranoid about!

The nurse came and got us and walked us into the surgery prep area. They got me into a hospital gown, hooked me up to the iv, and at 7:30 on the dot, we were heading into the operating room. The last thing I remember was scooting from the gurney to the operating table and that was it. Thank God for anesthesia - I slept peacefully throughout the surgery.

The next thing I remember is waking up in quite a bit of pain in the recovery room. The nurse was bending over me, asking me how my pain was on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being extremely painful). "Seven," was all I could say and I drifted back to sleep. The next time I was woken by the nurse my answer was the same; "It hurts," I told her and then asked her to help me roll over into a fetal position. She gave me more pain meds through my iv a few more times before I started feeling ok. They wouldn't let Andrew come in to see my until my pain was under control so he had to sit in the waiting room by himself during this time. I was pretty uncomfortable, but they gradually sat me up in the hospital bed and then transferred me to a chair. It took me longer than usual to bounce back from this operation. The nurse seemed a little worried about me as I was quite pale and seemed pretty out of it. Anything having to do with my female parts is just super sensitive for me - I really dread these appointments and have felt extremely violated this past week. After what seemed like a long time, I was finally able to get a few crackers and a few sips of Sprite down and started to feel a little better. They gave me 2 Percocet to swallow with my Sprite, got me in a wheel chair and escorted me to our car.

I spent the rest of the day Friday and most of Saturday in bed. My bed is the only place I can rest comfortably. I still have a catheter and balloon in my uterus, filled with saline solution, to make sure my uterine walls don't collapse. Having these foreign objects in there is very uncomfortable. I can't lift anything, can't get Greggy in and out of his crib, or even lift him up onto his changing table to change his diaper.

Today being the 3rd day seems stereotypically rough. I woke up in pain and haven't felt good all day. In addition to the cramps and abdominal pain, I've been having problems going to the bathroom (#2). Ugh - as if to add insult to injury I've had that to deal with today too. I'm really looking forward to the future. I'm looking forward to being done with all this reproductive crap, done with the poking, prodding and doctor's appointments. Done with pregnancy and another c-section. Just done. I want my 2nd baby to be here and be healthy. I want our family of 3 (not counting Angel) to be our family of 4 and I want to be done with everything gynecological! Have I mentioned that it sucks being a woman sometimes?

Pre-op

So today was my pre-op. I must say that I don't feel like blogging about it because I feel absolutely awful. However, I want to document this process so that if I'm ever foolish enough to think that I want to try for a 3rd child, I can look back and read this to remind myself that I never, ever, ever want to go through this again.

The main purpose of this appointment was to insert a stick of sterile seaweed into my cervix to make it dilate. This procedure produced pain that rivaled child birth. It hurt like a mother!!! I held it together until I got to my car but then cried for a good 30 minutes. I wish I could say that the pain had subsided, but is hasn't. It's just constant and unrelenting. The Dr said that if the pain became unbearable, I could "pull it [the seaweed and gauze] out" myself, but that thought also makes me cringe in pain.

I won't go into graphic detail, as I'm not sure that readers of this blog would appreciate it. All I can say is that my children better appreciate all I've had to go through to bring them into the world. Not only was the in-vitro process gruelling with Greg, but now round 2 seems to be starting off worse. As if childbirth itself isn't enough hell to endure...all of this is just to get pregnant! Somehow I had this idea that IUI would be so much easier. Little did I know that before I could even attempt IUI, I'd have to endure all this other stuff. Sometimes being a woman sucks....REALLY sucks.

The dreaded HSG

Today I went to the hospital for the dreaded HSG. The HSG is a test ordered by my fertility Dr to make sure that all is well with my female parts. I checked in to the hospital and was admitted to Radiology. Once in the room, I got to strip down and slip on the oh-so-sexy hospital gown. Then, the procedure began. Unfortunately, what should've taken 10 minutes took much, much longer.

Problem #1...the tech couldn't find my cervix. She hunted and searched with the cold, metal speculum but didn't have much success. After thinking she'd found it, she tried inserting the catheter and balloon but when they wouldn't go any further, she discovered that my cervix had alluded her again. After 4 attempts and re-adjustments of the speculum, she finally found it! "Joy," I thought, "she's found it so now we can move on and get this over with."

Problem #2....With the speculum in the correct place, she inserted the catheter and inflated the balloon which made me start cramping. With my discomfort increasing, I gritted my teeth and tried to hide the pain on my face while the 3 techs worked. To my dismay, the balloon apparently wouldn't stay in the appropriate place so Astrid, the tech performing the HSG, explained she'd have to deflate the balloon and move it all the way up into my uterus. Great, just what I wanted to hear.

With my cramping becoming more and more painful and my legs starting to shake in the stirrups, I endured another placement of the catheter and balloon inflation. Not fun, not fun at all. Finally, with all the necessary equipment in place, the placed the huge xray machine over my torso and injected the dye through the catheter. More cramping. After dye and oil injections and rolling side to side on the table, I got the good news....my fallopian tubes looked totally clear. Whew.

The balloon was deflated, catheter and speculum removed and I sat up on a pile of towels. Yes, my dignity was once again obliterated. I waddled to the bathroom to collect my clothes and the tech called after me saying, "There's a washcloth and a towel in the bathroom for you to clean up with, the dye can be quite sticky." Gross! As I collected the hospital pad and clean up materials, I was constantly having to remind myself that this will ultimately all be compensated for when we have our 2nd baby and are able to give Greggy a sibling. Being a woman totally sucks sometimes but having to endure all of these horrible, humiliating tests just makes me appreciate my babies more.

So now that I've survived both the hysteroscopy and the HSG, one more big hurdle to go: the operative hysteroscopy on Friday. In 2 days, I'll be going in for my pre-op, which will include the Dr putting a stick of seaweed in my cervix to get it to dilate and leaving it there until the surgery (soooo not looking forward to that). Then the next day I'll be undergoing the surgery. At least I'll have general anesthesia for that one! If I make it through that and survive the post op stuff (3 - 5 days with another catheter and a balloon inflated with saline in my uterus so my uterine walls don't collapse), then I should be in the clear for at least 1 month with no one invading my private parts!!

Did I mention that being a woman really sucks sometimes? Ugh. The things we do for our children....sometimes before they're even born!

Greg's way of telling us he's hungry

I Love You Mommy

Tonight was a very special night. While I was playing with Greg, he put together his first sentence and he couldn't have picked a better one. First, he looked over at Andrew who was sitting in the other recliner and said "I love you Daddy." I praised him and hugged him and told him that was such a nice thing to say and then he turned to me and said "I love you Mommy." He said it calmly and quietly while looking straight into my eyes. It was the highlight of my day, my week, my month even! My eyes filled with tears as I was completely overwhelmed with the love I felt for my son. I still can't believe I was part of creating such a pefect little boy. He is amazing and even though I know it's not humanly possible, I love him more and more every day. The love I feel for my son cannot be put into words. It's all-consuming, unconditional and he is the best thing that has ever happend to us. We are so blessed to be his parents. We love you Greg! Love Mommy and Daddy.

Angel's guilty face

This is the face Angel makes when she's in trouble or has done something wrong. If we come home and see this squinty, smiley face, we know to search the house for something chewed up or drug out of place. Isn't she the cutest! We love our little Angel!

Greg's Christmas Pics 2009

Here are some of Greg's Christmas pictures from this year. I tried and tried and tried to snap some at home, but what can I say....he's a toddler! He doesn't hold still - not for a second! So I thought I'd try out JC Penney & Sears and see if I could distract him long enough for someone else to take his picture. It was quite a challenge to get these pictures but alas, in the end we prevailed! God love toddlers - they keep us on our toes. And mine is just as cute as cute can be! I cannot believe how much I love this kid! He is my pride and joy - by far the best thing I have ever done was give birth to such a perfect little miracle. I love you baby!

Christmas Vacation 2009

Well, we had quite the trip to California this year. December 21st - January 6th = a long time living out of a suit case. We spent time in Orange County with Andrew's family, as well as time in Kingsburg with mine. It was a good trip with lots of good quality time with loved ones. Greg got along famously with his cousin, Jaxson, who is just 6 months younger. He also saw his other cousins, Zachary and Caleb, in Kingsburg and got to play on their backyard swing set as well as their awesome trampoline! Greg also got to hang out with his friends Christian and Liam, who he doesn't get to see very often but who are lots of fun to play with!

As always, one of the highlights of the trip for Greg is getting to play with all of our canine relatives =) Grandma & Grandpa Stucky got a new dog, Macy, who is a total love bug that always wants to be on a lap. Then there are Uncle Tim and Aunt Heather's hounds....Sadie and Riley, who continue to be Greg's favorites. All Greg could talk about was Riley, and he loved saying her name over and over and over again! His vocabulary really seemed blossom while in Kingsburg. He started saying "Cozy Coupe" which is super cute, counting to 10 all by himself, and learned to say Grandma and Grandpa correctly (instead of Papa and Manga). He's learned most everyone's names, got lots of rides from Grandpa (Stucky) in his cozy coupe, and got his first rhino ride with Grandma and Mommy!

Here are some of the pictures from our trip. We're thankful for safe travels and are happy to be home, starting 2010 with a bang!